About

Leslie Whitaker is a syndicated newspaper columnist, best-selling author and college lecturer.

Her column, “Quick Study,” runs in 150 newspapers and online sites, and offers savvy, supportive advice to everyday employees and employers who want to make a positive impact on their workplaces and take charge of their own careers.   She teaches writing, book publishing, and business communication at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

Whitaker has co-authored a book for every woman who has made a bad deal because she was too nice. Her Good Girl’s Guide to Negotiating: How to Get What You Want at the Bargaining Table was inspired by a bad deal of her own: She wrote a New York Times best-seller, her first book, and got paid $12,400 for it. (She signed without consulting a lawyer or an agent.) The Guide includes advice on buying cars and houses; talking with your doctor; and negotiating divorces, salaries, even funerals and domestic chores.

Whitaker and her co-author, Elizabeth Austin, contend that many women, raised to be “good girls,” can’t stop being nice, “even if it kills us financially or robs us of our fair share of the proverbial pie.” Many women therefore fall victim to salespeople, employers and family members who take advantage of their willingness to please. But, they maintain, women can learn to reverse the social conditioning that causes them to avoid confrontation and seek praise-and even use some of their relationship-building skills to develop win-win solutions.

Women tend to shy away from making deals because they think it requires manly aggression. But Whitaker and Austin’s research confirms that “men and women are so much alike in all of the different skills-verbal, math and thinking-which are required for good negotiating.” You don’t need “a heavy dose of testosterone” to make a good deal, Whitaker says. You do need assertiveness, passion (a “very powerful and convincing” trait), creativity and an open mind: “Be open to what the possibilities are. It doesn’t have to be either their way or your way.”

Other tips for affective negotiating: “No matter how outmatched you may feel, you’ve got greater power than your opponent if you’re willing and able to walk away. So develop a Plan B.” Also, prepare: “Do enough research so you know that what you are asking for is reasonable and defensible.”