Many people believe that those among us who possess charisma were born that way, that they reel others in with their good looks or wily charms. But what’s really essential, Maxwell says – and can be developed by anyone – is an outward focus. Connecting has to be “intentional,” and requires time and energy. “Most of the time, people won’t give it the energy,” he says.

People like people who like them. If you can learn how to identify what is special in others and express your appreciation of it, you’ll have developed a useful skill. “Most people are waiting for someone to make their day,” Maxwell says.

One of the first steps in forging a connection is figuring out what you already share with a new contact. Doing research before your first meeting can reveal common interests or experiences. “At the beginning, interest is piqued by what we have in common,” Maxwell explains.

Once interest is aroused, you can forge a deeper connection by identifying some way your new contact is more skilled or experienced than you are. When you inquire about a trait you admire, “it engages the other person,” Maxwell says. Once engaged, your contact is often willing to help you out. If you ask for something specific – such as referral s to your contact’s friend who works at a place you’d like to apply – she will likely oblige.

As always, the nonverbal aspects of your interactions are key. “People won’t remember what you said or did, but how you made them feel,” Maxwell says. So when you seek to expand your network, keep Dirty Harry’s famous line in mind.

Milwaukee’s ordinance is being challenged. Detractors say that businesses may not be able to handle the costs, which could result in an abundance of lay-offs or cuts in benefits and salary.

But paid sick days may be more important to maintaining a productive workforce than one would think. According to the NORC, of those who were not receiving paid sick days, 55 percent said “they had at some point gone to work with a contagious illness like the flu or a viral infection” and 24 percent said “they had sent a sick child to school or day care because they had to go to work.” Is that strategy really less costly?

Are you having trouble staying motivated in your career search?

According to Julie Jansen, author of I don’t Know What I Want, But I Know It’s Not This: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding Gratifying Work, “Setting very specific activity goals during every phase of your search for satisfying work is a must, even for the introspective and soul-searching phase. Goals represent your purpose and the outcome you wish to achieve.”

She suggests you do the following:

1.        Feel passionate about your goals and the career you wish to have.

2.        Partner with someone who is going through a similar situation at work to search for a new career.
3.        Keep your energy level high to maintain a high level of motivation by staying healthy.

If you are dissatisfied at work, getting reacquainted with what really matters to you, may take some effort.

“Your values, personality traits, attitudes, and abilities are like the ingredients of a recipe,” says Julie Jansen author of I don’t Know What I Want, But I Know It’s Not This: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding Gratifying Work. “Without knowing what they are, you will find it difficult to use these ingredients to help you create nourishing work.”

She suggests several steps:

1) Find a list of common values on the internet by typing “list of values” into a search engine.

2) Narrow the list to your own top ten by asking yourself which ones “you absolutely cannot live without.”

3) Think about your current worklife and decide if these are being expressed in any way.

More on Friday…

Are you feeling bored or unchallenged at work?
In Julie Jansen’s book, I don’t Know What I Want, But I Know It’s Not This: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding Gratifying Work, she expresses the importance of taking a step back from the situation and focusing on yourself. “Whether you are wondering Where’s the Meaning? Or are Bored and Plateaued, the first thing you must do is get reacquainted with yourself so that you can focus your goals and energy in the appropriate direction.”

More on Wednesday…

View from Shorewood

“When I was a kid, I used to go up into the attic with a good book, a glass of iced tea, and a bowl of popcorn.”

From Paul Newman: A Life by Shawn Levy (Random House, 2009)

Please support your public libraries…the Internet of yesterday… an important repository of inspiration for the future.

Anderson believes that people who are unfulfilled at work need to look backwards, too. In fact, she challenges readers to write their own autobiography, and to start by examining their parents’ and grandparents’ attitudes about money, work, and relationships. Why examine your family history? Anderson claims this exercise helps you identify patterns that you might have picked up along the way - good and bad – and figure out where they originated.

Anderson recommends that all fledgling memoirists refer to their relatives by first name only (“Ellen” rather than “mom,” for example), as a way to view their influences in a more objective light. “They will become people, not relatives,” she says, and “You can declare a moratorium on the stuff that doesn’t work for you.”

To help put the less productive influences of history behind you, Anderson suggests focusing your energies on your own strengths, values, and needs. Strengths are what you do easily and well. Values are the ways you consistently tackle problems when you are successful. Needs are the intangibles that you find emotionally satisfying, such as autonomy, creative challenges, and variety.

Finally, write down some goals to help you move towards a more satisfying worklife, but keep them small. “Change that lasts is, of necessity, a slow, gradual process,” she writes. If you select tasks that can be accomplished in a reasonable time period, you will become more accustomed to winning, she says. And that’s a habit you can happily pass down to future generations.